can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i would punch a child for taco bell
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize