He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
