I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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