I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
