Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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