I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
