You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
