You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
