Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
