I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
