and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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