I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Michael Bay diarrhea
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
