Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
