It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
