now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
