One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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