Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
