idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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