butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just pynch a tree in the face
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have fence marks all over my body
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
