She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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