His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
