Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
dude. I can hear the air.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
