I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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