I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
