He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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