my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
