That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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