Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
