One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize