This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
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When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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