420 ftw
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
