We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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