singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Randomize
