Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.

Fav 22 921 1823
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

Fav 11 899 2392
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

Fav 20 1538 6651
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.

Fav 6 1296 3259
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.

Fav 11 2932 2243
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

Fav 11 5767 1678
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

Fav 10 1811 892
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.

Fav 2 989 603
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"

Fav 0 12 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT