the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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