Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (1130)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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  (716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn
  Replies (44) Good night (5240) Bad night (1154)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4695) Bad night (1499)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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  (605): We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy. http://tfl.nu/7hz1
  Replies (41) Good night (11977) Bad night (788)
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  (619): View more from California

  Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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  (619): Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it? http://tfl.nu/4s1d
  Replies (34) Good night (2091) Bad night (4660)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.

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  (515): Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/mtdi
  Replies (6) Good night (3220) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?

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  (702): is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/ood9
  Replies (23) Good night (3924) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you

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  (518): I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you http://tfl.nu/jrvn
  Replies (20) Good night (5750) Bad night (2088)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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  (614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91
  Replies (23) Good night (942) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (500) Bad night (835)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.

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  (956): I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal. http://tfl.nu/q1bu
  Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans

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  (409): We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans http://tfl.nu/zl8l
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.

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  (860): Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister. http://tfl.nu/yhbd
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ

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  (712): Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ http://tfl.nu/mn33
  Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (566)

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