a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"