We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.