Non-Jews are for practice
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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