I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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