There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You may now shotgun with the bride
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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