Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize