She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
