Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
