make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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