Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
