he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
