Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
