just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
