What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
they need to just BURY HIM!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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