Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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