I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
