I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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