That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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