So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize