I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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