she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
