Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
