um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
