we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize