Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Someone shit on the floor
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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