can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize