So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
