omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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