She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
