I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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