doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
