My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
