By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Found the puke drawer
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
