is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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